How To Get A Man To Commit • Is Love Enough?
Today I’d like to delve into the topic of how to get a man to commit.
Relationship “long term limbo” is becoming more and more common. Many women find themselves in relationships of 5, 6, or even 7 years that don’t seem to be going anywhere fast.
If you’re a woman frustrated by a relationship that isn’t moving forward, you’re not alone. Thousands of women face this same dilemma every single day and so many women have questions like…
- Why won’t he commit to me?
- Since he won’t commit, does that mean he doesn’t love me?
- If he truly loves me, then getting him to commit should be easy, right?
- We’ve been dating for weeks now. Why won’t he ask me to be his girlfriend?
- Will he ever marry me?
- Why does he dodge the question or get defensive every time I ask where the relationship is headed?
Are Love And Attraction Enough To Get A Man To Commit To You?
There is a common misconception amongst women that love is enough to make a man commit to you. It goes something like this…
If he truly loves me, then he’ll commit to me and if he doesn’t commit, then he must not love me or is no longer attracted to me and is just waiting around for something better.
This simply isn’t true. Men don’t process their feelings like you do. In fact, most men find it extremely difficult to process their feelings at all.
But don’t mistake that to mean that men don’t have feelings. They do. In fact, these feelings are often very intense and largely dictate their actions, even though men get the credit for being the “logical” ones.A man can love you deeply, passionately, and enthusiastically and still not want to move the relationship forward. And, yes, that applies to asking you out on a second date as well as getting to “I do” and everything in between.
Love and attraction are only very small parts of a man’s willingness to move a relationship forward. If you want to get a guy to commit to you, it’s critical you understand this concept.
In his best selling ebook, Girl Gets Ring, author “T Dub” Jackson says men decide to move a relationship forward or not using 3 broad strokes. T Dub compares these to a traffic light.
Green means a man has a good feeling about the relationship and feels no danger in moving it forward.
Yellow means a man has picked up on something that makes him a little cautious. He might suddenly pull away, need space, or say things like, “I’m not ready”.
Red means a man gets a gut feeling that something is wrong in the relationship. He may not be able to explain it to you or even to himself for that matter, but a man in the “red zone” will never commit.
The Girl Gets Ring System is designed to show you how to use your man’s natural wiring to get him green and keep him there without man-ipulation or using pushy ultimatums. If you have a few minutes, I highly recommend watching this video that explains it.
Are You Trying Too Hard To Make Him Want You?
Many women make the mistake of trying too hard to build a man’s love and attraction for her. I see it all the time.
Since this is only a small part of the “love formula” for a man, it becomes extremely frustrating when a man still won’t commit to you no matter…
- How many hours you’ve put in at the gym to have a killer body
- How many times you’ve invited him over and cooked his favorite meals
- How many sexy outfits you’ve bought so you could look extremely hot for him
- How many Cosmo sex tips you’ve learned and implemented in the bedroom
- How many times you’ve pretended to love watching football on Sunday afternoons just to be with him
According to T Dub…
“If she’s constantly “sucking up” to him…trying to get him “into her”…and make him like her…she may appeal to his ego for a while. But in the LONG RUN you NEVER win a man’s heart, devotion and commitment through his ego.”
The key is to shift your focus from worrying about how he sees you to getting to know the REAL HIM.
A man must know that he can drop his guard and you will still approve of and love him.
The crazy thing is men often set traps for women in this regard. They don’t do it intentionally, but let me explain.
On a first date, a man might buy expensive designer clothes, take you to a fancy restaurant he really can’t afford, or otherwise exaggerate his money and income to try and impress you. Yet, if at any time he senses you are with him because of his financial success and not because you like the real him, then his light immediately goes from green to yellow or even from green to red.
T Dub says…
“His desire for you to love the REAL HIM is one of four of his triggers to full devotion and enthusiastic commitment.”
Without all four triggers, your man’s commitment light will never go green.